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Have You Ever Kissed an Ashtray? (Pucker-Up!)
Old Glory offers everyone the freedom to express their opinion, and I have mine on smoking and smokers, which is as follows:
SMOKER: A dragon-like figure, like “puff” the magic dragon, which is depicted as having a reptilian body and breathes and emits smoke and fire!
STUPID: marked by a lack of intelligence.
CRAZY: one who lacks judgment or understanding.
DUMB: Obviously unintelligent.
DRAGON: Something very fearsome or dangerous.
I HAVE ZERO TOLERANCE FOR SMOKER AND SMOKERS!
Every time I see a smoker it reminds me of a dragon, with smoke coming out of their mouth, nose, ears and probably places where the sun doesn’t shine! Every time my ex-wife and I invited a few “dragons” (who smoked) over for dinner, the place looked like it was on fire, with smoke coming out of all the windows! I was always afraid that the smoke alarms would go off!
With the cloud of smoke in the house, visibility was about 6 inches (or less), and I was concerned that someone would trip over the coffee table or crash into a trash can headfirst and get hurt! While in the Air Force, I helped put out a house that was on fire one night, and I got an idea of the power of the hose that firefighter was using! We entered that house that night and destroyed everything with just the water pressure! So when a handful of “dragons” came, and with all the smoke in the house, I was always afraid that a neighbor might call the fire department, and with those powerful hoses, the fireman would destroy the house!
* * *
I don’t want smokers around me! With that attitude and the number of smokers around, that pretty much leaves me alone in the woods, doesn’t it? I know all about smoking because I smoked for five years and quit in 1970, which was one of the best things I’ve ever done and for my family!
But smoking is not only dangerous for health, but also for a relationship. I met my ex-wife in the 1970s when smoking was all the rage and in vogue, and she smoked for the 19 years we were together. But at that time, I didn’t care that she smoked, so smoking wasn’t a problem. But, over time, she started to smoke more and more, and it started to have an effect on our relationship. I think the anti-smoking movement started in the early 1990s, and that’s around the time our relationship started to go downhill, and part of the reason was that she smoked!
For 19 years I tolerated smoking and tried to help Wendy quit, and it all fell on deaf ears! She was always afraid that she would gain weight if she stopped, but I told her that if she gained weight, I would help her too! (in one ear and out the other). Over time, she always seemed to have a cigarette in her mouth! After about 17 or 18 years of that, I started getting upset and smoking went to the top of our priority list.
When I first met her she was a light smoker, smoking a cigarette here and a cigarette there. She was an occasional smoker, so I didn’t raise the red flag at the time, etc. But over the years her smoking got worse and I naturally worried about her. First thing in the morning… a cigarette! Last thing at bedtime… a cigarette! And, if she woke up in the middle of the night… another cigarette! Every morning she woke up coughing and choking! I was very angry because of that!
The cigarette has become his constant companion! I used to get so mad, when I walked into the kitchen and, while she was cooking a meal…there was this fucking cigarette coming out of her mouth! Several times I walked up to her, grabbed that stupid cigarette hanging out of her mouth, put it in the kitchen sink and drowned her!
Smoking was affecting our relationship, and we argued and argued more and more, and didn’t talk more and more, over time. Our two boys were 10 and 12 at the time, and I know that smoking was affecting their well-being as well. She had the attitude that she was going to have her little “solution” and/or “fun” no matter what! She was selfish! She didn’t want to see the other point of view. She wouldn’t even go outside and smoke!
And, I felt like we had a big problem here, and we were going to have to find a solution, or we might not be together much longer! If I brought up the problem of smoking, she would go away!
When two people argue and argue most of the time, the relationship begins to deteriorate and is likely to die. It finally got to the point, when we spoke very little! Over the years she probably wondered why I kissed her so little… who wants to kiss an ashtray? Long story short, we broke up in 1995, and smoking and all the fighting that came with it was one of the reasons we broke up!
Today (2006), I am single (by choice), and if another woman crosses my path in the future, she will NOT smoke! If she is… she just has to keep going! Research has shown that second-hand smoke kills, just like smoking itself! So for nineteen years I have no idea what secondhand smoke did to me! Nineteen years with a smoker around me is enough!
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