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Frumpy – "A Woman Regarded As Dull, Plain, Or Unfashionable"
As a mother of a 22 year old, I’m at that point in my life where certain styles just aren’t appealing or appropriate anymore. My two biggest fears are looking like my mother and looking like my daughter.
Stylish and mature women follow the big trends while staying in their own look. As time goes by, we need to redefine what constitutes an up-to-date look and let go of old-fashioned ideas, but there’s a fine line between looking current and looking like a fashion victim. Everyone has a different idea of what is frumpy. Like most things in my life, I find what’s right for me by eliminating what’s wrong. These are on my “no-no” list:
- Wearing pants that are too short is a killer look that I often see. The modern way to wear pants is very long – almost brush or brush the floor.
- Wearing tucked-in blouses and tops – I can’t resist this one because I love my belts! Tailored shirts and untucked (layered) t-shirts look modern. If you choose to tuck in and wear a belt, don’t do it with the old fashioned jeans that sit at the waist and taper at the ankle with a 1″ belt – yuck! Pants that sit 1 inch below the waist are flattering for most of us and a wider waistband (about 2 inches) is slimming.
- Dressing too “matchy-matchy” – it’s hard for women of my generation because when we were growing up the perfect outfit was a plaid skirt picked from a rack with matching sweaters and finished with shoes and a bag assorted Papagallo handbags. It’s just not so easy anymore. Women who still subscribe to this way of dressing wear a head-to-toe designer “look”. BORING! It takes a bit of creativity, but basically you want to mix palettes and textures. Look at the color combinations in magazines and in stores to keep up to date. You can see color combinations that you never thought would “go” together and they look modern and chic. Even the simplest outfit can look great by mixing textures; think of wool knotted with velvet or linen with silk. If this is very uncomfortable territory for you, wear suits but update them with shoes and tops
- Wearing sleeveless tops and dresses without regular exercise – when I attended my daughter’s high school graduation on a sweltering June day, I saw lots and lots of flabby arms; I was thanking my Total Gym! I don’t mean you have to exercise, but if you’re not blessed with toned arms, wear short or long sleeves.
- Trying to look too tight – if your clothes are sophisticated and crisp, tone down the hair and makeup – that’s a modern look. And in the same vein…
- Wearing too much makeup is especially important as we get older. Go for a polished look in neutral colors for the day and amp it up a bit with color or a heavier application at night
- Wearing too little makeup, I don’t go anywhere without minimal mascara, blush, and lip gloss. Most of the time I add taupe eyeshadow and dark brown liner and a little brow tamer. It takes 5 minutes and makes all the difference!
- When I see women at the mall in sweatshirts or shorts and baggy t-shirts, I wonder why they’re shopping if that’s how they get out of the house. Even when you’re only wearing jeans, you can look pulled together by paying attention to your shoes and other accessories. Or, throw a jacket over just about anything and look instantly put together.
- Buying a “special” dress for special occasions, of course there are certain functions, for example if you are the mother of the bride, when you need to buy a special dress. But for most semi-formal occasions, it’s more chic to collect a wardrobe of fancy silk slacks, blouses and skirts, velvet skirts and jackets, dressy cashmere sweaters, embellished jackets and maybe a tuxedo to mix and match. It also makes more sense if you don’t dress often because you can update your pieces one by one.
- Old-fashioned eyeglasses are a fashion accessory and if you have to wear them, keep them up to date. Well worth it considering the cost per wear!
- Wearing too much “jewelry” – I’m not into fancy jewelry, I prefer to have a few pieces that reflect my personality and that I will love forever. Make one thing your focal point, if you wear too many pieces it’s distracting
- Wear unflattering silhouettes – there are certain clothes that are not suitable for certain body types. No one can escape it, even what we consider a model body cannot wear all styles. Sometimes it’s easier for a good friend to point out what isn’t working for you. it is very difficult to see oneself without prejudice. If you’re going to put time and effort into wearing nice clothes, be a good editor and avoid what doesn’t suit you. It has nothing to do with size!
- Wear “cheap” clothes – when I shop with my daughters at stores like H&M and Forever 21, I’m tempted by the price tags, but cheap clothes look really bad on mature women. Again, I’d rather have 10 things I like than 30 things that are like that.
- College hairstyle – if you still wear your hair like you did when you were 19 and are over 40, it’s time for a change. And if you have the cut of the moment – the “Dorothy Hamill”, the “Rachel” – and you still have it, it’s time for a change. Trendy haircuts are just that, they are meant to be constantly updated
- Women’s suits and small earrings – I know when women see this look with the “new” Chanel-style suits and dresses, it’s a look I can relate to. The thing is, it’s a look for young women, it looks hip on them. As they say, if you wore it the first time, remember to wear it again. Simple, structured suits with an avant-garde bent look much more stylish for us over 40
I find that when I follow these guidelines, it narrows down my options, making it easier to create stylish and timeless outfits.
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